Decmber is a month when most of us are looking throughtfully at our past year and re-examine all the events that took place and how they affected us. In this past year two of a very dear people to me died or as I like to say crossed over, since I believe that there is a life after death. I like to imagine that one leaves their body, but soul crosses over into other dimensions. I believe that at birth we are assigned a day when we will cross over. But what I realized when I for the first time encountered a death of a loved ones is that you leave life on Earth all alone and you can’t take anything with you but memories and experiences that you have made at a time that was given to you. What struck me most is that tea cup at the house was exactly at same place where she left it. Her notebook was at the same place. Evertyhing was the same, except she was gone. And as I remebered our deep talks over friendly lunches and coffes , i always admired her wisdom and advice to not forget to be kind to myself. To cherish every moment I have and not to stress over the actions of other people. Once can only be responisble for his/her own deed. Thought that was a confort to all that loved her, is that finally she is renutied with her fristborn duagther and that she lived her life fully as a professionall and as a wife and mother. She left us in Spring and I still think of her often.
The death of a childhood friend that left us a month ago struck me harder, since she was a young woman at the best age of her life battling a cancer for months, knowing her four year old daugther is loosing her mother. Since I have learned about her struggle with health and battling cancer, I couldn’t but daily of thinking of unfairness and why it happened to her hoping that she will miraceously beat it and stay with us. It gave me tremendous sense of gilt for being healthy and happy and enjoying my own happiness. But at the same time it gave me appreciation for my heath and it reminded me that everyday is a gift and that life shall not be taken too seriously. I tresure time I knew her. We never know when is our time, when we fullfilled our mission on Earth and that nothing is worth our stress.
Thus I decided that this December I will be first kind to myself and enjoy all the festivites of the month that I love so much. I will cherish time with my family and friends. I will do extra decorations, sing louder, dance harder and thank for ability to enjoy everything that life offers me. After all Decmber is the last one, so it shall be the best one.