Last week me and four of my friends decided we needed an afternoon off. These women appointed me to take care of the reservation and organise SPA day. Guilt free, no worries, stress relieve, soul refreshing day. I scheduled SPA afternoon with hammam , saunas and jacuzzi before each of us took on two hours Thai massage. As one could imagine five women in one small steam room can come up with many discussions about relationships and women issues. Good thing was that the only guy that dared to join us in steam room was Italian and could not understand us. Since one of us is doctor we got somehow scientific explanation on women hormones and what brings so many relationship problems. Note that two from the group are divorced and we all have children, from toddlers to teenagers. Basically it is simple explanation of hormone levels that drives us into different situations in our lives. I will not go into monthly women cycles of hormone changes that we all know way to well, but just on general issues. I will simplify this hormone explanation and forgive me if it is not completely accurate, but as I understood it , is that when we are in our reproduction phase in our life is that we look for good DNA and that is why we are attracted to certain type of men. For example I always wanted to be little taller and this is why I was always attracted to tall men. Don’t get me wrong, of course I as well looked for intelligence and that something extra, that one cannot explain. But if we talk about simple basic things and DNA material, it gets as simple as that, small gene attracts tall gene. For all those that will once again ask me how comes that I married the tallest guy in this country :). Once you have children you get into diapers, bottles and taking care of the children, because your progesterone level is bumped and you are in your reproduction phase in your life. In a phase when you are primarily interested in caregiving and raising your offspring. But then comes the time when your children can take care of the basics and are at least somehow independent, we, women, realise that we are not just mothers and wives, but as well women. And then our progesterone hormone levels go down and the estrogen hormone ( our primary sexual hormone) raises. And this is why women change . As one of my friends that divorced after three kids and twenty years of (from the outside you would say solid) marriage, it is her that have changed, not him. Her husband was the same man she married many years ago. It is her, that changed and realised, she wants different life for herself, as a woman. We came to realisation that as our hormones and lives are changing, as we are more experienced, as we become mothers, women feel more independent,. self-confident and self-assured and that is why we do feel better with age. We are mothers, we are educated, we learned to say no, we learned not to care what others think and we learned that what we want matter just as much as what our children and partners expect from us. We concluded that once our reproductive ability and hormones slows down, we are the “queens”….And that I shall not be afraid of ageing (yes, I admit, I am sometimes scared of growing old). Because our faces will get old, nice bodies will change, but lets not forget that good women will stay good women!!!

Nada Brezec
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