Since I didn’t make any new resolutions in this new year, I am enjoying January as the month who extended into meeting with friends and continuing December celebrations of all birthdays and new endeavours that awaits us in 2019. For so many years I have struggled with expectations I have set for myself and apologizing for not having career that I forgot to appreciate myself and small things I do on a daily basis and those often matter the most.  As most of the SWAGS would understand me, for me it was never hard to accept that my husband is the “breeder” for our family and that I follow his career standing behind him, but it was more of trying to fit into what people around me expect me to be. It took years to learn and experience to gain as well as lots of self growth and therapy sessions to realize that it is just not the average lifestyle to live. In a way when I now look back, it was easy when I was in college, because when someone would ask me what is it that I do, I could respond that I am in college. As it would be something bad if I just said I am a homemaker, full time wife and mother. I worked on many project in past years, selling properties, running a Pilates studio, attended many semniras, got certificates, but nothing has made me as happy as having time to watch how my daugthers grow and learn, having time to cook meals for my family, plan, build and decorate our beautiful home, travel and work on myself growth. The breaking point for me whas when therapists said to me that I shall realise that people work most of their lives to achieve what I have: time and resources to live exactly how I want and do what I love. Then I relaised I achieved what I wanted and that I should stop comparing myself to other women, especially hard working women and stop trying to be superwoman who does it all.  I realised it is hard to have it all: carrer, family, good relationships and time for yourself.  And the more I observe, the more I realise that too often we are quick to judge other people lives, because who does have it all? It is all perception and how you see it. And it is all what matters to you. It is not about status, titles and names. It is about what makes you happy. Even now, when I am back to my blog, I decided, I will take it for fun, as my own project on my own terms, write when I feel like it and stop stressing what should grow from it or where it will go. Finally I am at peace, I can enjoy what I have been given…. Relaxed January.

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